The 3 Doubts
The 3 Types of Doubts To Overcome To Reach Your Goals
When you are working towards big, ambitious goals, there is often a background inner belief that the goals are out of your reach, or that it isn’t possible. In some moments, you feel empowered to take action and make progress towards these goals. In other moments, the doubts will come creeping in, and you will feel stuck.
In this article, I break down the 3 core types of doubts (inspired from Giovanni Dienstmann’s book: Mindful Self-Discipline), and my take on them and how you can overcome them to reach your goals.
DOUBT #1: SELF-DOUBT
Self-doubt destroys dreams. It lingers late at night. It stays with you when you are not making progress. It shows up when you least expect it. Whenever you fail, it comes banging at the door. It disguises itself as self-protection. It whispers slowly and then it shouts.
Whenever you want to be bold, and step up, self-doubt is pulling you backwards. It tells you, that you can’t do it, that you don’t have it in you, and that you will fail. When you do fail, it smiles and says it knew you would. If you do succeed, it laughs it off as a lucky happenstance.
Self-doubt is that inner voice that says doubts: your abilities, your skills, your attitude.
We all have self-doubt.
Successful people, and billionnaires have self-doubt. Olympic athletes have self-doubt. Hollywood actors and business owners have self-doubt. CEOs, and leading project managers have self-doubt.
We think: “Once I am successful, self-doubt will go away.”
Instead, it’s rather the other way: “Once I master self-doubt, I will be successful.”
We tend to believe that self-belief comes as a consequence of success (it doesn’t). Instead, self-belief leads to success.
How do you go from self-doubt to self-belief?
Acceptance: You accept that we all have self-doubt. That it will be part of the journey. Sometimes it will be quieter, and sometimes, it will be louder. And that’s OK. You know you can make progress even though you have this doubt.
Action: You take bold actions, even though you feel doubt. You take massive action, in spite of impostor syndrome. You don’t let the doubts limit us.
Promises: You keep the promises you make to ourselves to build that self-trust. The more you are consistent in our actions and promises, the stronger the self-belief.
Track actions & successes: One of the tools that has helped me most is to track all the actions I take and the results I receive. Building a track record of progress keeps motivation high and self-doubt at bay.
Decorrelate actions and results: Self-doubt feeds on failure. If you consider success as the actions you have taken and not only look at results, it will calm your mind. Yes, the results matter and you need to keep them in mind, but you can let your self-belief fluctuate based on external input - that’s a recipe for fear, low self-esteem and chronic self-doubt.
DOUBT #2: DOUBT THE JOURNEY
Even if you build some self-trust, you can still doubt the journey. This means that even though you are showing up, taking action consistently, you are not sure that these actions will take us to your goal.
This is a subtle type of doubt.
It’s the one that creeps in after a few weeks of trying: “What if this is not the right way?” '“What if the actions I am taking are not the right ones to reach my goal?'“
This type of doubt is particularly tricky, because on the one hand if you don’t take action long enough, how can you know for sure that this isn’t the right way? On the other hand, what’s the point in continuing down the wrong path?
The best balance I have found here is to decide ahead of time when you are trying a new strategy, how long you will carry it out for.
Whether it is a strategy to: grow your business, improve the performance of your team, reach your fitness goals, double your sales… You come up with a plan, and decide how long you will stick with this plan, how you will measure if it is working or not.
If your strategy does work, you can still doubt the journey (is there a better way to get there faster?). In this case, you can evaluate whether it is worth pursuing that path and another path, or if it’s better to try an entirely different strategy.
If you strategy does not work in your given time frame, then it is time to pivot, to change your approach and to start a new way. The key here is to not put all your eggs in one basket and to have a lean, flexible approach in your work.
Doubt vs impatience: If you are not seeing the results fast enough, are you really doubting the path or is it just impatience? Maybe you think it’s doubt when actually, you need more patience and faith to carry out your strategy for longer.
DOUBT #3: DOUBT THE GOAL
Are you climbing the right ladder?
You might be doubting yourself and your abilities, you might be doubting the path to take you there, but equally deep down, maybe you are actually doubting the goal.
Is this something you truly want and that is aligned with your values? Or is it something you think you want because all of your peers are chasing that goal?
It can be challenging to distinguish between a goal that is worth fighting for, and a goal that just looks good on paper.
Maybe it sounds nice to say that you want to run a marathon, or that you are building a startup - but do you genuinely want to reach these goals?
Often when you are doubting yourself, it’s because subconsciously, you are not sure those goals are worth the effort and the work. When you totally believe in your goal, and it is fully aligned with your values, then self-doubt takes a back seat because you become so consummed in working towards that objective.
If you check in, and see that your purpose is still aligned with what is important for you, then continue to build the mental strength, perseverance, faith and self-belief to take consistent actions towards your goal.
THE 3 DOUBTS
The 3 doubts: self-doubt, doubt the journey, doubt the goal, can hold you back in reaching for the stars, and daring to dream big.
When you are feeling stuck or demotivated, it can be helpful to ask yourself:
Are you doubting your abilities? Then take action, and build self-trust through consistency
Are you doubting your path? Then fix yourself a trial period, test it out fully and then change your approach if it doesn’t work.
Are you doubting your goal? Check that your goal is aligned with what matters to you, not what you think you should do, or what others are doing.
Analysing these three doubts has been very helpful in my own journey and with my clients. It keeps the mind clear, rebuilds inner strength and supports you to take massive action towards aligned goals!
Thank you for reading,
Katie